Rachel Nichols Can Finally Go Home

By: Alex Harris

Yesterday, the world of sports discovered once and for all that Brett Favre will no longer compete in the National Football League. So what’s the most important development surrounding this story? Is it remembering Brett Favre’s legacy? No. Is it recognizing Brad Childress’ newfound understanding that his starting quarterback might be named Sage? No. The most important development is that sports fans no longer have to hear, “From Hattesburg, Rachel Nichols, ESPN.” Thank god.

First of all, I’d like to dish out some Kudos to the most dedicated field reporter to ever come through Bristol. Any time ESPN broke a meaningless story, whether it was Brett Favre throwing the pigskin around in his backyard, or perhaps how green his front lawn was, Rachel Nichols was there, prompt and prepared.

Brett Favre is now responsible for one too many things: the delayed success of California quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, the demise of the 2008 New York Jets, and now, Rachel Nichols’ insomnia. He forced her to stay up, monitoring his text messages, emails, phone calls, and even his landscaping services. To everyone’s delight, Rachel Nichols can now leave Mississippi and move on to bigger and better things all while getting some sleep in the process to erase those noticeable bags underneath her eyes.

Breaking news!:Michael Vick gets up early and goes to work! Rachel Nichols, ESPN.